Flow, Autotelics, and The Paradox of Solitude
Last week, I was reading this essay from Every where I learned that one of my heroes Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi passed away in October. The essay brought up the idea of flow as a state and as a vehicle for self-development, quoting this passage from Flow:
“Following a flow experience, the organization of the self is more complex than it had been before. It is by becoming increasingly complex that the self might be said to grow.” (Emphasis mine)
This is one of the most unsettling paradoxes of being autotelic. In Flow, Mihaly wrote,
“Just as we have learned to separate ourselves from each other and from the environment, we now need to learn how to reunite ourselves with other entities around us without losing our hard-won individuality.”
Growth is a result of having an autotelic, complex self. Complexity and flow is achieved through solitude — which counterintuitively, leads to better integration in the world around us.
How? Autotelics are adept at use both our mental microscopes and telescopes.
We use the microscope to zoom into ourselves. We get in touch with our emotions, gives ourselves what we need. We listen to our inner child.
After that, we use our telescopes, magnified by our self-inquiry, to examine and understand the world we live in. Our self-awareness allows us empathize with a hurt friend. Our capacity to fight for our principles allows us to stand up for a family member. Our ability to love and care for ourselves results in time spent volunteering in our community.
Solitude does not isolate us from the world. Instead, it gives us the space to grow into ourselves, so that we can give the highest contribution we can to the world. Stephen Batchler, author of the book The Art of Solitude, put it best:
“Here lies the paradox of solitude. Look long and hard enough at yourself in isolation and suddenly you will see the rest of humanity staring back. Sustained aloneness brings you to a tipping point where the pendulum of life returns you to others.”
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